wisdom to know the difference
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One of the hallmarks of non-theist religions is their insistence that human life can be improved by cognitive means — by using our thoughts, our knowledge, and our perceptions. In these traditions, wisdom comes not from the gods but from a very human combination of acquired facts and controlled intuitions. Mind. Thought.
The Serenity Prayer encapsulates a key concept in Stoicism, the Axiom of Futility. Simply stated, the Axiom of Futility says: If you can’t do it, don’t do it. Not doing what you can’t do avoids all manner of disappointment.
Clearly, the trick to using the Axiom of Futility is that “wisdom to know the difference” thing. You might decide it’s futile to try to fix your financial situation; or your relationship; or your drinking problem. Those decisions are not wise: just because you don’twantto do something, or just because it’s hard, doesn’t make it futile. It just makes it hard.
Take power over what you have power over. Then, there’s no resistance. There is no “no.” You won’t get hurt. Just keep in mind what you have power over. Don’t cross the line. If you forget — if you go looking for such things as money and power — you might get hurt. At any rate, youwillmiss what’s important: happiness. Freedom.
Listen: learn what illusion looks like. Learn to say, “That is an illusion.” Learn to ask: “What is in my power?” If it’s not in your power, forget about doing it.
The ability to regulate emotions is central to well-being, but healthy emotion regulation may not merely be about using the "right" strategies. According to the strategy-situation-fit hypothesis, emotion-regulation strategies are conducive to well-being only when used in appropriate contexts. This study is the first to test the strategy-situation-fit hypothesis using ecological momentary assessment of cognitive reappraisal-a putatively adaptive strategy. We expected people who used reappraisal more in uncontrollable situations and less in controllable situations to have greater well-being than people with the opposite pattern of reappraisal use. Healthy participants ( n = 74) completed measures of well-being in the lab and used a smartphone app to report their use of reappraisal and perceived controllability of their environment 10 times a day for 1 week. Results supported the strategy-situation-fit hypothesis. Participants with relatively high well-being used reappraisal more in situations they perceived as lower in controllability and less in situations they perceived as higher in controllability. In contrast, we found little evidence for an association between greater well-being and greater mean use of reappraisal across situations.
Brockman R, Ciarrochi J, Parker P, Kashdan T.
Brockman R, et al.
Cogn Behav Ther. 2017 Mar;46(2):91-113. doi: 10.1080/16506073.2016.1218926. Epub 2016 Aug 12.
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PMID: 27684649
Ben-Baruch YD, Leibovich-Raveh T, Cohen N.
Ben-Baruch YD, et al.
Front Psychol. 2022 Dec 23;13:1053381. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2022.1053381. eCollection 2022.
Front Psychol. 2022.
PMID: 36619063
Free PMC article.
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